     
Damnaliens DVD Review by Steve Sawicki
Not since Michael Renny stepped out of
his saucer in The Day the Earth Stood Still has an alien presence
as wise as Steve Sawicki delivered pronouncements to the waiting masses
of humanity. Again this month Steve comes to us with a message...and a
warning. Watch the films...watch the films. - Editor
(Note: order the
films from Amazon by following the hyperlinks to help buy fuel for
Steve's saucer)
New/Recent
Releases
In
the past year we’ve been buried in films wanting to make money by making mock
at Star Trek. First there was Denis
Crosby and Trekkies which takes an insiders view of Star Trek Fandom. While I’m all in favor of exposing peoples
idiocies this film seemed to take too much joy out of showing just how pathetic
the hard core Trekkers really are.
Maybe it was just that it was real life. Free Enterprise showed us a bunch of pathetic guys, including
Shattner himself, but it was all in fun.
They weren’t real people, except for Shattner but he’s an actor so who
can tell when he’s real and when he’s the Priceline guy. Galaxy
Quest - DTS goes one step further by
looking at the whole thing from the side of the actors.
What
we’ve got here is some fine acting by Allen, Weaver and the rest while they
poke fun at what has become a forty year long phenomenon. There’s plenty of analogies for everyone so
if you miss a few it won’t matter. In
fact, you could probably enjoy the film without the analogies, but why would
you want to?
Sweet
Amy wants to win an award at her film school.
The award is given out for the best documentary. She immediately heads out to film a work of
fiction. Way to keep your eye on the
prize there Amy. The topic of her film
will be Urban
Legends - Final Cut. As filming begins though, crew and cast start to
die. Somewhere in the second reel Amy
figures out that something ain’t right (Must be a Roger Corman Protégé). Luckily for us, Amy is a dimwitted girl and
doesn’t get anything figured out until the film ends. Oh yeah, the subject of this little horror film is Urban
Legends. This means that if you don’t
send copies of this review to at least 30 friends bad things will happen to
you.
There
can be only one, which is why Connor must convince Duncan to join him in the
fight against the highlander villain and his highlander cronies in Highlander:
Endgame By the end of this film you’ll be glad there
can be only one--movie that is. How
many times can you do this plot and they break their own rules all the time
anyway. Off with their heads I say, or
just blame it all on Douglas Aarniokoski who directed this piece of drivel. One of the few films where I was really
hoping the bad guys would find some way to win.
The
Chaos Factor
Tapeheads
Welcome
II the Terror Dome
Classics
Some
films are best loved not for the total effect but for specific characters or
bits. While there are certainly people
out there who love the entire length of Dr.
Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the
Bomb (Special Edition) there
are ten fold more who love only the general or only the doctor or only the
scene in the war room. Many parts of
this film are way over the top and by now it’s horribly dated. Still, not a bad choice when it’s 3AM and
you can’t sleep.
Hmmm,
Roger Corman as director and John Sayles as scriptwriter should make a pretty
good combination. And, what’s this?
Robert Vaughn in his pre-lawyer hawking days as well? Battle
Beyond the Stars
is the granddaddy of a good six or seven other films
that used footage Corman shot for this film.
The plot is basic. We gotta kill
them before they kill us and there are millions of them and just you and
me. Corman shows the skills that made
him a great B-Movie guy. An excellent
little movie that appeared in the theaters for 8 days and then remained unseen
except for television and those eight or nine following films which reused
footage.
You've
got to love a title like The
Brain From Planet Arous. It's
compelling, even if only to find out what they did with the rest of the
body. What could Corman have done with a title like this? It's a twisted
steal of Hal Clement's Needle where an alien criminal comes to earth and
hides in a human. If the alien police brain is so smart, why does it
decide to hide out in a dog?
What
do you get when you cross a mad geneticist and a few chicken eggs? Don’t know? Well, Roger Corman does The
Carnosaur Collector's Set
you get Carnosaurs, hungry little dinosaur
like critters that create havoc. This
film came out the same year that Jurassic Park did. Well, Roger Corman was never known for his timing. Neat little beasts surrounded by stupid
actors and lots of mid-west scenery.
Wouldn’t
it be horrible if those huge underground robot building factories in the Midwest
got taken over by, say, mutants in the near future, say, right after
the final showing of a Roger Corman film which accidentally set off a world wide
devastation so that the only way to save anything would be to find a female
mercenary with the unlikely name of Cherry
2000.
Not a bad film actually
although I wouldn’t recommend it to friends.
This one shows up on television on the Saturday night late movie. Don’t watch it there though as it’s too cut
up. Go out and spend the $3 bucks for
the rental. It’s worth it and, besides,
what else do you have to watch while you’re waiting for the next Roger Corman
opus?
A
benign alien lands in the Scottish highlands, and this has to be by mistake so
you wonder just how advanced these guys are to begin with, and is turned into
an evil alien monster after meeting a Scottish person. The
Man From Planet X just can't get a break. Crappy
script, cheezy effects, bad acting and Roger Corman had not a thing to do with
it, go figure. According to my
research, people who liked this also liked “Attack of the Puppet People,” and
“Die, Monster, Die.”
DeepStar
Six In
the near future, an undersea research and missile-installation base is
threatened by a carnivorous swimming crustacean. And you thought there was
a presidential edict detailing that you never, ever, put missile basis within
reach of carnivorous crustaceans. Well,
if not than there should be or we’ll get more of these tedious, badly written,
terribly acted, poorly presented films.
If
you like old film then you’ll probably love Things
to Come.
Actually this is a
pretty neat film except that it’s terribly dated and in black and white. Granted it does have some historical and it
is the place where Roger Corman gets most of his ideas but I’ll still go out on
a limb and tell you that this is one to catch some night on tv. Not worth renting unless you have absolutely
seen everything else.
Also rans: It
/ Nostradamus
TV
Highlander
DVD Boxed Set There
can be no more than one. Now where have
I heard that before? Certainly not from
Roger Corman. Now you can go
back and see how television revised the movie so you’ll understand how the new
movie revised the television revision.
If you see this one in the video store grab it quick, because, there can
be only one!
Other
channels to watch: The
Sci-Fi Files / Star
Trek - The Original Series, Vol. 19, Episodes 37 & 38: The
Changeling/ The Apple / Star
Trek - The Original Series, Vol. 20, Episodes 39 & 40:
Mirror, Mirror/ The Deadly Years
Anime/SuperMarionation
 Thunderbirds
- Set 1 / Thunderbirds
- Set 2 Puppets
in Space! These should have been
released years ago. Gerry Anderson
invented lots of things (and no, Roger Corman is not one of them). SuperMarionation is, however. SuperMarionation is just a fancy way of
making puppets look like, well, puppets. Thunderbirds is a very old television series from the sixties which used
puppets as characters. It wasn’t half
bad, of course that’s according to the six ye ar old memory in the back of my
brain since I haven’t seen one since then.
Expect the full list of Anderson shows if these
prove to be available. Perhaps we’ll even
get to see UFO which, indeed, is a show worth waiting for.
Not
quite ready for Saturday morning: Gundam
Wing the Movie - Endless Waltz / Speed
Racer The Movie / Tenchi
Universe Collection "Space III" (V.7)
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