Damnaliens DVD Review by Steve Sawicki
In June, Steve seemed to have matrimony on his mind. Not surprising, considering his engagement to author Barbara Chepitas and mine to EJ McClure. Well, it's a race to the altar between our favorite crank reviewer and me. May the best gal win. - Editor
Note: order the films from Amazon by following the hyperlinks to buy junk food for the aliens and keep them away from the dog.)
the month of weddings, receptions and videos.
Those of us in the know, like Editor Ern, get married in January when
thereís nothing at the theater and nothing worth watching on video or dvd.
This way thereís no ugly scenes about whatís more important, your
bride to be or Star Wars Episode 2.
- "I don't know what's SF...but I know what I like"
- "I don't know what's SF...but I know what I like"
of you who read this column know that I have a pretty liberal view of whatís
defined as genre. Heck (this was
hell but I edited myself), at one point I considered all movies to be fantastic
since they were inherently unreal. At
another time I only considered those movies fantastic when no one got hurt doing
something that would most likely kill you or me.
Iíve refined my views a great deal but not to the point where Iíd
exclude including Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon, . This
kung-fu homage flick is a must see, especially if you speak mandarin Chinese.
If you donít youíll have to suffer through sub-titles.
Do so. Itís worth it just
to see the battle on top of the bamboo forest. Top notch actors flying about the
screen hacking at each other with weapons.
very premise, that you donít get hurt if youíre in the movies, is exactly
what this next flick is about. Okay,
itís not exactly what itís about but close enough for a segue.
of filmmakers who have reached beyond their grasp even though they have the
skills to make the grab, letís take a look at Dogma.
In this flick, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon play two angels who have been banished
from heaven and who want to get back in. They discover a loophole and all they have to do is prove God
fallible. This will, unfortunately,
destroy civilization in the process. Bethany (Linda Fiorentino), is a lapsed
Catholic who works in an abortion clinic, and itís up to her to save the day.
Jay and Silent Bob play major roles here as themselves which is more of
an undoing than a good thing. Chris
Rock plays the 13th apostle and while he does add some levity after a
while itís almost as if these characters were just thrown together for the
heck of it. Is this a comedy that
strays into philosophy or a philosophical flick that wanders into comedy. Doesnít quite pull it off either way but still worth
Classics - "Like wedding cake kept in a lab freezer too long..."
you noticed yet that Iím missing a theme?
I had one but it got tossed out with the bridal shower invitations.
So, since we started with Kung fu, comics and God it can only mean that
now is the time for The
Muppet Movie, Kermit goes to Hollywood, picking up all the usual
suspects along the way, while Miss Piggy tries to strong arm the frog into
matrimony. This is a musical by the
way so if you donít like singing puppets then you should probably avoid this.
If you thought the television series was just too great to miss then
youíll like this flick as well.
your taste runs to the bloody and tedious then youíll probably love The
Pit And The Pendulum. This
flick stars Vincent Price and is the second of the Roger Corman ĎPoeí
movies. Price thinks heís his
father, a Spanish Inquisitioner and starts torturing people.
The ultimate tool being the device of the title.
A slow movie which is very dated although itís got a script by Richard
the DVD reviewed last time, this version of The
Fall of the House of Usher is in color and English.
Vincent Price plays Roderick Usher, the mad owner of the house. This is the first Corman ĎPoeí flick and contains some
interesting scenes but no weddings. Some
of the shots are incredibly fake which does take away from the suspense.
when you thought it was safe to leave your head in a jar, Donovanís
Brain comes along to remind you that there is no such thing as safe.
In this flick the scientist who does the brain keeping is taken over by
the brain itself. Nice visuals but only if you like brains pulsing in red
SFTV - "Take a nostalgic look at Gene's bachelor days!"
weddings but lots of visuals of all the women Gene Roddenbury dated.
These are episodes from the Kirk in a girdle years which must stand for
Trek - The Original Series, Vol. 24, Episodes 47 & 48: Obsession/ The
Immunity Syndrome. We'll wager you
remember the notable Trek bondage episode included in Star
Trek - The Original Series, Vol. 23, Episodes 45 & 46: A Private Little War/
The Gamesters of Triskelion
Anime - "Better than a robot on your wedding cake!"
were actually a bunch of mumbling robot videos released this month and I managed
to avoid all of them. I imagine
that sooner or later thereíll be a knock on the door but until then let me
tell you about Escaflowne,
Light And Shadow. Okay,
grab onto your hats for a short synopsis. Hitomi
surrenders to the fortune-enhanced soldiers Naria and Eriya, but never having
seen Terminator or Universal Soldier, Hitomi is unaware that
the fortune-enhancing process has some unpredictable side effects.
She escapes and meets up with Van. The
two are summoned to the ruins of Fanelia by Folken, There, they face the menace
of the dragons and the shadows of the past that have haunted Van's older brother
since the days of his dragon-slaying ceremony.
No talk of marriage in this one although many of the villains act like
drunken reception guests. Vol 7 of
this series. Worth watching but you
better start at the beginning.
Forever and Ever. This is volume 8 in the series and here we find
Hitomi, trying to get away from all the fighting, suddenly transported back to
Earth. She arrives on the very day she left. She has one chance to
get back to Gaea, but it will mean endangering her friends again.
Do I have to tell you what she does?
Meanwhile on Gaea, the war continues unabated as the Doomsday Weapon is
deployed. Donkirk cares little for this because heís on the verge of achieving
his goal. The fate of Gaea lies in a white dragon and the heart of a girl from
Mystic Moon! Cripes, Iím going
back to watching soap operas. They
were easier to understand.