sfr3d.gif (19860 bytes)November 2002
© 2002 Ernest Lilley / SFRevu
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November 2002 Damnaliens DVD Review by Steve Sawicki
Note: order the films from Amazon by following the hyperlinks to buy  junk food for the aliens and keep them away from the dog.) Want a second opinion? We suggest www.imdb.com - Ernest

Letís kick aside the detritus of the Fall and get ready for those long cold days of Winter.  Nowís the time to start picking out what DVDís youíll be watching over and over and over again as the snow piles against the door.  This is particularly true for those of you in Buffalo who have already had snow and typically see hundreds of inches of the white stuff.  Of course Miami also sees hundreds of inches of the white stuff too but thatís a different story.  Iím giving up on the rating system as no one really seemed to understand it, myself included, and Iím falling back on the old Roman saying, Caveat Emptor.  This is my new motto.  It goes right under my old motto which was Ďhey, are you going to finish that?í  And speaking of themes, weíre going bare this month so feel free to make up your own, but be careful itís not the kind of work for a novice. 

Recent Releases / Classics / SFTV / Anime

Recent Releases  -

Because there are still probably close to six people out there who havenít seen this yet, Iím leading off with Star Wars II, Attack of the Clones, and Iím going to tell everyone now that thereís a spoiler coming so if you want to savor the mystery then read on at your own expense.  Clones shows that Lucas still knows how to put on a show even if he has forgotten how to write.  Itís a bit odd watching these things because we know so much about their future.  Oh yeah, and the annoying Jar Jar does not get killed.  Even with that itís still pretty to watch, if a bit too long.

Some would say Iíve given in to the dark side while others would say itís simply my quest for balance, but I felt, given the Star Wars entry that this deserved some mention as well.  Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, is a Troma entry so you know itís got nothing going for it at all except for cheap effects, scantily dressed women and a plot that was written by the directorís dog between naps.  So, run for your lives, that would be away from the zombies and toward the chopper chicks for those of you who might be wondering.

Reign Of Fire, has everything youíd want in a movie; dragons, post apocalyptic destruction, dragons, gritty realistic grit, dragons, helicopters, dragons and, lest we forget, the all important dragons.  This is a film about, well, dragons.  Theyíre everywhere and, given that, and the fact that they seemingly have destroyed the planet, youíd think theyíd be hard to get rid of.  Evidently not as the flick advises.  So, lock and load, and use the forts Duke, at least until theyíre burned to the ground

Not a flick or a movie or even a series of short-shorts but the one thing all of them need to survive.  All Monsters Attack, is a series of trailers from 55 different movies.  You get all the standards, King King, Godzilla, Kronos, Gorgo, Gwangi, plus that woman and the Colossal Man and Yog, Monster from Space.  See cities get attacked by all manner of giant insects and the occasional mammal.  Think of all the time youíll save by not having to watch the actual movies?  A great idea and great fun to put during a party where you donít have to spend a lot of time stuck to the screen.

And now for a total waste of film, time and talent.  The powers behind Men In Black II, thinks so badly of itís audience that they didnít even bother to write a new story.  This is nothing more than a remade Men In Black, although the funny bits arenít funny because weíve seen them, and the shockers arenít shocking for the same reason and the whole thing just stinks to high heaven which is the exact opposite direction most of the folks in Hollyweird are heading for foisting this crap on us month after month after month.  Sheesh, they should have had someone with those memory wipe things at the exits.

Classics -

Okay, so thereís bound to be some holdovers from Halloween.  Curse Of The Vampires, is one of those flicks that really makes you wonder just what were they thinking?  First off the real name of this is Blood of the Vampire so while theyíve changed the name everywhere else they forgot to change it on the box.  Makes it kind of hard to find unless you really, really look.  And why would you want to do that?  The box says this is so scary that youíll be gripping your own throat.  I donít think youíll be gripping it from fear though.

What do you get when you cross Beast Master and Clash Of The Titans?  Well something like Hawk The Slayer.  This flick is put together from pieces of other post apocalyptic/fantasy movies and itís done in such a poor way that itís not even fun playing identify the B-Movie parts.  Jack Palance is in this which makes you wonder if all those rumors are true.

SFTV -

Now that the Fall television season has self destructed we can turn back to see what television used to be like in the old days.  The X-Files, The Complete 6th Season.  Of course as time passes the crap rises to the top and thereís more and more of it.  There are 23 episodes in this season and probably more than half are barely watchable.  Well, you can watch them but you laugh a lot at the idiocy.  The remaining episodes contain about a half dozen great ones and an equal number of really good ones.  Nothing really gets tied up because that would end the show.  Instead we get more teases and more questions than answers, along with the occasional alien, demonic baby, time travel escapade (they must watch Star Trek), mutant beast, and conspiracy cartels.

Gene Roddenberry is seen as a genius by most when in actuality heís not much more than a one idea guy.  Roddenberry wanted to do westerns in space.  In fact, Roddenberry wanted to do Firefly.  Instead he got to do Star Trek and ended up being hailed a genius.  Andromeda, taken from notes scanned off Roddenberryís  DNA by an electron microscope, hit the tv screens last year.  Itís been pretty much a wash, falling into that great wasteland of shows on the non big three networks and having to make very little money to stay alive.  Now, you can relive many of those adventures once again with the release of Andromeda Season 1, Vol 3.  That is you could watch it if the studio actually decided to release it, which, at this time, they have not.

Anime -

I find that either you like this stuff or you donít. Very few people run luke warm on it.  As for me, I like it when itís good which is not very often.  Star Blazers, Comet Empire Parts 1-6, is quite a bit dated at this point and itís old school in terms of the animation.  Still, the episodes are done well and can provide a few hours of viewing pleasure.

While not really fitting into this category I didnít watch enough Anime to add anything more and my search for the giant mumblers has come to a standstill.  So, here it is, Ice Age, while not as funny as Monsters, Inc., is still funny enough and proof that animation is still done best by the boys in Hollywo---Disneyland.  Itís funny, itís got good voices, although at times the celebritiness of it all can distract, and itís got a decent story-line.

sfr3d.gif (19860 bytes)© 2002 Ernest Lilley / SFRevu
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