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Never Slow Dance with a Zombie by E. Van Lowe
Cover Artist: Peter Lutjen
Review by Gayle Surrette
Tor Teen Paperback  ISBN/ITEM#: 9780765320407
Date: September 2009 List Price $8.99 Amazon US / Amazon UK / Show Official Info /

What if everyone in your high school became a zombie except for you and a couple of friends? What if no one noticed? Not parents. Not teachers. Not the police. Not even neighbors. What would you do? How would you survive going to school every day when you don't want to get eaten? That's the problems facing Margot Jean Johnson and her best friend Sybil in Never Slow Dance with a Zombie.

Most of us had thought about how we'd deal with the inevitable zombie uprising and some of us even have contingency plans. Some of those plans might even work. But what if it's a local problem and no one notices and we all know that no one listens to teenagers. So every day you have to go to school and manage to get through the day without being attacked by your fellow zombified students. There are a few rules:

1. While in the halls, walk slowly and wear a vacant expression on your face. Zombies won't attack zombie.
2. Never travel alone. Move in packs follow the crowd. Zombies detest blatant displays of individuality.
3. If a zombie should attack, do not run, instead, throw raw steak at him. Zombies love raw meat. This display of kindness will go along way.

Never Slow Dance with a Zombie is framed as a college entrance essay written by Margot. She tells the story of what happens when the entire student body is turned into zombies and how she and her friends managed to survive and find a cure.

Margot's retelling of the experience doesn't skimp on assigning blame to her as she used the zombie catastrophe to further her goal of becoming the most popular girl in the school dating the most popular boy--the fact that the boy was now a zombie and kept trying to bite her…well, Margot had self-esteem issues.

E. Van Lowe does a great job of making the outrageous seem so real. Though my own high school experiences were longer ago than I'd like to admit, I could so relate to being an outsider looking in at the "in" crowd. From the stories that I hear from my friends teenager -- things have only gotten worse.

So, if you're looking for a fun book to read and one that gives some interesting insight into the functioning of a typical high school give Never Slow Dance with a Zombie a try. If you are a teenager, you'll love this one--especially if you ever wished that …well, I'm sure you can complete this sentence.

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